NA NA NA NA NA

I can’t spell or punctuate worth a damn but I hope you get my drift. The words are probably different in other languages, but I bet the physical cues are pretty much universal, transcending linguistic boundaries and making communication relatable on a whole new level. Eyes all scrunched up, conveying confusion or mischief. Tongue stuck out, a playful gesture of defiance. And most importantly, thumbs stuck in your ears with fingers wiggling on either side of the head—nothing says taunting quite like this classic move, an act that inspires laughter or annoyance alike. It’s so iconic that it has almost become a rite of passage for children across cultures. Except possibly the old Viking tradition of baring your butt and waggling it at your opponent, an act that could only be described as audacious and utterly hilarious. Butt waggling, the ultimate taunt, was not only a display of bravado but also a playful affront, the cornerstone of the Viking’s fearsome reputation. They utilized this cheeky display to unsettle their adversaries, demonstrating both confidence and a somewhat irreverent sense of humor. And no one, before or since, could butt waggle like the Vikings; their mastery of this primal taunt was legendary, forever etching their antics into the annals of history and popular folklore.

“Na na na na na”. This in no way should be confused with “Na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye”, the 1969 tune from the one hit group Steam.

 Get a grip, Doc! This whole “na na” thing has become a bit of a fixation.  The very phrase taunts me. Why this sudden preoccupation with taunting, you may ask? It couldn’t be the Leonardo DiCaprio movie “Catch Me If You Can”, which I caught on the tube the other night, could it?  Cute movie but normally not considered a real thought provoker. Then it dawned on me. Catch me if you can? What an incredible thing to say to somebody. I couldn’t imagine those words ever escaping my lips. Come to think of it, those words have never escaped my lips.

Oh, come on Doc. Are you going to sit there and tell us that not once in a childhood of running around, the phrase “Catch me if you can!”, never escaped your lips? Not once. And I’ll tell you why. In running situations fat kids are never the taunters but rather the tauntees. And before you get all  “poor fat Doc” on me, you’ll notice I used the qualification “running situations”. Taunting is very act specific. I could imagine a fat kid who was taunted for being slow, turning around and taunting a skinny kid for not being able to pack away six hot dogs at lunch.

So what makes a taunter? Is it just confidence with a side of bullying? Perhaps. You’re not going to bare your butt and waggle it at someone if you’re not pretty sure that you can successfully slaughter all the men, rape all the women, burn down their village and then carry their children off to slavery. You’d just look silly otherwise.

I think it’s more than that. A taunt is an advertisement. It’s a declaration. It’s a big fat “Look at me!”. And more precisely it’s a declaration that you can do something that the other person can’t. And I’m starting to think that is why the whole taunting concept seems to be so foreign to me. Why would anyone in their right mind want to warn the other guy about how good they are? To what end?  Beats me. Maybe they’re just really into butt waggling.

Personally, I keep my butt in my pants, fingers out of my ears and a big smile plastered all over my face. It’s the smile that does it. They never see me coming. Right up until I slaughter all the men, rape all the women, burn down the village and carry the children off to slavery.

Na na na na na. Indeed.